Repete, s'il Vous Plait

Repeat after me:

I am

Sofa King,

Stupid.


Now say it five times fast...

No, Really.. Quit Complaining About Your Job!

Ok, yes...it has been a very slow week.

Quit Complaining About Your Job

You could be one of these guys...

Deschutes Redux Part II- The Oasis

The Oasis is a Maupin fixture. It's been there for many decades, and consists of a restaurant and "Resort". It has been a long standing tradition for those of us that break camp down to stop at The Oasis on the way out for a burger and a milkshake (real ice cream, any flavor you want, served with a spoon instead of a straw). Good stuff, and the people working there are very nice.

I had never been there on the way in before, so it already felt wrong. We asked inside the restaurant if there was anyone that could give Sam a ride down the access road to Macks Canyon so that he could leave a note for Bob letting him know where we were and to come-a-runnin'. Turns out that the owner of The Oasis has a Jeep CJ that he uses for just that purpose! Cost to taxi Sam to and from Macks Canyon: $50 (this is where the tally begins). I used to think this was an exorbitant amount to charge for a lift, but not anymore. It takes an hour to go the 17 miles to Macks Canyon, so that's 2 hours plus gas and wear on the vehicle. Not bad for that road. My job was to unload the van and detach the boat, then relax in the luxury suite at The Oasis.

The deluxe suite is identical to the other rooms, a dozen or so cabins lined up the hill behind the restaurant. There are two very springy, very noisy double beds in the one room cabin. There is no T.V., but if you like you can listen to the one station that comes in on the clock/radio. The closet has been split into two sections in order to give you indoor plumbing. No, I'm not kidding. The bathroom is so small that you cannot use it if the door is open. Picture something similar to what you might find in an RV, or cut an airplane bathroom in half. These luxury accommodations will run you $50 per night, and is pretty much the only gig in town.

Remember the part where I was NOT going to be sleeping if I had to share sleeping quarters with my dad? Well, that applies here too. I have an old saying to go along with this: "Whoever gets to sleep first, gets to sleep." Sammy also has this uncanny ability to be asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, which means he wins. Every freakin' time. Without fail.

As luck would have it, when Sam went to leave the note for Bob, Bob had been wondering where the hell we were and come up to the boat ramp from camp to investigate just as Sam pulled up. Sam goes to camp with Bob, George gives truck keys to Sam, Bob runs Sam back to the ramp, Sam comes back to town in George's truck, which can tow the boat and the gear back down to the ramp!

The next morning, a well rested Sam and a very sleep-deprived Me, arrange to get the van towed to The Dalles. Sam takes the boat, the gear, and my tired ass back down to the ramp, then has to head right back up because he has to accompany the van to The Dalles. For those keeping track, by the time Sam gets back from The Dalles, that's 3 full trips on the access road, or 102 miles at a maximum of 20 mph, all in a 2 day span. Ouch.

The van has to stay in The Dalles because it ends up needing a brand new engine. Total including labor comes to approximately $4,500. Starting to get pricey for a one week fishing trip, eh?

Insult, meet Injury:

Three days later, Sam heads out in the boat to go pick David up at the boat ramp. On the way back, he hits a rock while running a set of rapids and breaks the bottom pump cover on the engine, rendering it powerless, which is not a good thing to be when running over rocks on this river. Then he damn near breaks his hip when he jumps in the water to try and keep his boat from hitting too many more rocks. Luckily, Bob carries a spare of this part in his boat and lends it to Sam, which gets him through rest of the week without further mishap. According to Bob, you don't need a jet boat if you aren't going to run over rocks, but you'd best carry some key spare parts. Cost to replace the part once the trip is over, $700.

The fishing was great.

Once I became single again, I was able to cancel my subscription

Death Poses for a Photo Op

Death

The robe and the sword have been put away for the season.

Death prefers to wear leather..

We interrupt again to bring you one of my favorite retail websites...

Click the post title, be sure to check out all of the poster selections, and the Bittersweets as an added bonus!

We interrupt your normally scheduled program in order to inform you that Death Kicks Ass

Death had a good weekend, taking 1st place for best costume at the office, and second place for best costume at Denise and Lynn's party on Saturday!

Death also scared the crap out of a few children, which he felt bad about, but is over it now because he is Death and Death doesn't dwell.

Death was also asked to pick a fight with a zombie, which made him wonder if he could actually kill the Undead. After asking around, the consensus seems to be that Death would kick the Undead's ass. This would be particularly true of zombies, as the are slow and stupid, though incredibly strong.

Pictures of Death to follow.